PROLOGUE

Berluddy Nora! Getting ready for a holiday is hard work innit! I worked for NINE SOLID HOURS yesterday trying to get rid of my workload. I thought today would be 'chill day'. Pah, how wrong can a person get.

Dashed to shops for last-minute necessities (coffee, I ain't going nowhere without a good supply of coffee). Packed bags, of which we appear to have Rather A Lot. Hubs told me to cut down on my clothes, so I removed a dress and a pashmena and he STILL wasn't happy - I mean, come on, cut me some slack here... oooh, slacks, forgot those.

Then there was house tidying, tidying of the garden, personal item hiding, some more packing and much muttering of "Do you think we'll need this bottle-opener/cushion/blanket?"

We did a practice pack of the car last week and it all seemed to fit in fine. Packed the car this afternoon and we couldn't get it all in. "You'll have to cut down on your stuff," Hubs demanded, so I took out a pair of shoes. He glowered, I removed a cardigan. He still glowered, but I ignored him after that, you just can't please some people. He did ask how many books I'd packed but I lied and told him two (there's seven... hope he doesn't read this before we set off).

The dog is looking nervous, he knows something's going on (as we force all of our worldy belongings into the back of the car). Small Son is looking after him... uh huh. I've left vet and kennel details out just in case. I've also put post-it notes all around the house for him: "COOKER: To cook food. Clue is in the name, cook-er", "FRIDGE: Doesn't fill itself. Doesn't clean itself either", "DOG BOWL: Don't wait until dog looks like a whippet before feeding him", "FOOD CUPBOARD: Food to be collected from shops”, and my personal favourite, “SINK: We don’t have a dishwasher. Mix washing-up liquid with hot water and insert dirty plates”.

Finally, we’re ready. WE’RE READY!

Brace yerself, Europe, we’re coming.